Sad! Hypebeast Intern Disappointed Supreme Court Justices Own Nothing from Supreme

Last Monday, rising College junior Tommy Sandez arrived at his internship with the Supreme Court wearing the freshest streetwear.

Even though Sarah, the Internship Coordinator, repeatedly told the young intern to wear formal attire only while in the court building, Sandez still arrived to work in his new Virgil Abloh Off-White sneakers and, fittingly, his favorite Supreme hoodie. He hoped that he would fit right in. After all, he was wearing the name of his internship on his chest in huge Futura font.

Sadly, Sandez was told by a security guard that he had to remove his sweatshirt before entering the building. In haste, Sandez figured this was to prevent people from confusing him for a Supreme Court Justice.

Sandez’s day started simply enough. He and the other interns sat with Sarah in a circle and discussed why they wanted to intern at the Supreme Court. “Mescaline,” Sandez shouted out before anyone else had the chance to speak. “Magic mushrooms.”

“Is that all?” Sarah asked.

“Oh and Universal Basic Ketamine for all,” finished Sandez.

Once all the interns had shared their thoughts with the group, Sarah took them on a tour around the building. While everyone marveled at the intricate architecture and history of the building, Sandez remained mostly bored. His father had arranged this internship for him, anyway.

The tour concluded with a chance to meet the nine justices in the courtroom. While only eight justices came (Ruth Bader Ginsburg had her mandatory cryogenic chamber hours), none of them were rocking even a hint of Supreme. In a crushing wave of disappointment, Sandez then realized that the Supreme Court was in fact not the legal branch of the fashion company Supreme.

Consequently, Sandez left his first day of work disillusioned with politics, vowing to never vote again.