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Pathetic: This Linguistics Major Can't Spell Wendesday

Photo by Matthew Zwimpfer

Junior Arman Murphy (C' 20) has been a linguistics major for three years, and along the way has learned about many diverse and intricate linguistic processes in several demanding linguistic classes, all taught by world-class professors.

But for all that knowledge, he somehow manages to continually fail an extremely basic linguistic endeavor. He cannot, for the life of him, spell Wensday.

"I just—I don't know, man. Wednsday is a pretty common word. I feel like an idiot every time I have to spell it and every time I fail."

"Like, I can tell you that it comes from the Middle English word Wednesdei, which comes from the Old English word Wōdnesdæg, and I could tell you that both of those words mean "day of Woden" (which, I could also tell you, is another word for Odin, like from Thor). Those words I can spell, no problem."

"I can tell you that the name is a calque of the Latin dies Mercurii, "day of Mercury", because Woden was seen as the Germanic equivalent of Mercury. I could even talk about how dies Mercurii itself is a calque of the Greek term ἡμέρα Ἕρμου (heméra Hérmou)."

"But fuck, man. I can't spell the Wednseday for the life of me."

He sighed, and began to tear up. UTB reporters had to comfort him, and promise him that everything would be okay.

"Th-thanks. That means a lot. Ugh, whatever. At least I can spell Tusday. People might laugh, but it's not like any of them can spell Skukil or Gutman."

Sources close to Mr. Murphy report that even though he's been at Penn for three years now, he still can't even spell the word Pensylvannia.