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Choose Your Own Adventure: Will Brad Fuck Your Girlfriend at Fling?


Photo by Sam Howzit / CC BY 2.0

You could tell that Jessica wasn’t that impressed with the tickets, but at least she didn’t threaten to break up with you if you didn’t bring her Dim Sum takeout last night. Plus, she actually promised to go with you, so that’s gotta count for something, right? 

You walk out onto the pool deck in a tank and board shorts that might have fit you before you gained the freshman fifteen, but now they're hopelessly tight. Your body is as smooth, round, and pasty as a lump of freshly risen dough, and everyone around you knows it. Jessica, on the other hand, is wearing a gorgeous set of flouncy white shorts and matching white top, which shows off plenty of her golden brown tan. Jessica is utterly embarrassed to be seen with you, and sulks behind you by five or six steps. A freshman during club recruitment season has more self-confidence than you in this moment. 

To make matters worse, you spot him from across the pool: Brad. 

He’s a real-life Adonis — a man with rock-hard abs and an ass so fine that you’re surprised that he isn't being swarmed by women. His hair is perfectly coiffed, and God! that cut-off tank doesn’t leave a lot to the imagination. 

Brad spots your doughy self and looks straight through you. Spotting Jessica, a giant smile dawns on his face, and he heads over to chat. 

A: Do nothing and stare at Brad's ass-et

B: Crash their conversation