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Behind The Scenes! CNN Takes Commercial Break so Democratic Candidates Can Poop


Photo by DonkeyHotey / CC BY-SA 2.0

The presidential race? It is happening. Debates? They are happening. Everyone knows these things. But did you know that Under the Button received backstage passes to the last CNN democratic debate? No. You did not know this. You did not know this because it is not true.

However, have you ever considered that CNN only gives candidates commercial breaks so that they can go poop? Due to personal reasons, we at Under the Button are at least 86% sure that this is the case. 

Did you know that the average poop takes 6 minutes and 12 seconds? Did you know that the average CNN commercial break takes 6 minutes and 7 seconds? If either of those things are true, would you mind reaching out to me to confirm? I’m not really sure. 

However! If these things are both true, wouldn’t that be such a crazy coincidence? Wouldn’t you just assume that the democratic candidates spend their commercial breaks pooping? If I was a democratic candidate, that’s what I would do. If I was you, that’s what I would assume.