With Vocal Fry, Student Thinks He Is More Sophisticated

To lift his low self-worth and self-image, Wharton freshman Lowe Istem has decided to start dropping his voice into a lower register as he speaks, in a move colloquially known as vocal frying. 

As speaking in a normal voice slowly fades out of fashion, an increasing amount of people have embraced forms of voice contortion such as vocal fry. 

“I’ve noticed that men who vocal fry when they speak seem more mysterious and worldly,” Istem said. “Like, you are thinking about something else as you talk when you really are notuhhhhhh”, Istem croaked.

As a result of his increased feigning of self-perception, Istem has found himself surrounded by women who are now suddenly attracted to him.

“It really seems like people think you are sophisticated when the end of your sentences sounds like a frog,” Isten said. “It’s really great that they don’t think I’m pretentious or anything.”