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Darrion Chen


Articles

Hill Dining Hall to Open Food Truck

The food truck will have the familiar comforts of a perpetually empty chocolate milk machine, tiny oranges that aren’t worth the effort to peel, and too much fucking pineapple. 


New College House West to Be Built out of Cardboard

The new dorm building, which will be designed by famed 6-year-old architect Calvin and his associate Hobbes, will be built using materials supplied by Amazon@Penn. For instance, walls and structural elements will be constructed with cardboard and fastened with postage tape; recycling bins will be used as toilets. 


With Vocal Fry, Student Thinks He Is More Sophisticated

As a result of his increased feigning of self-perception, Istem has found himself surrounded by women who are now suddenly attracted to him.


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