Anti-Social Shoppers Brawl over CVS Self-Checkout Lanes

Stopping into CVS is like being transported to a new world. On one side, we have an isolated ghost town with some perfectly lovely cashiers. On the other, we encounter a scene reminiscent of Planet of the Apes

The line stretches for miles, full of hopefuls wishing to be chosen to engage with a robot. Why interact with an actual person when you can scan your cool ranch Doritos by yourself before eating them on your own later? Too few robots for too many anti-social shoppers, so war breaks out incredibly frequently. Battle cries are screeched at top volume, such as “This. Is. CVSS!!!” or “If you have your extra care card please scan it now!!!” 

The bravest of shoppers do in fact go for the cashiers, “because there’s literally no line and human interaction is a necessary part of existence,” according to Sonia Tomma (E ’20). 

UTB attempted to disrupt the battle to conduct interviews with some of the self checkout-ers, but all members were a little camera shy and instead quickly scooted out the front door. 

But hey, at least Mark's Cafe has become a sheltered hideaway!