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Freshman Booby-Traps Dryer to Protect His Laundry


Photo (with edits) by Darrion Chen / The Daily Pennsylvanian

After losing his favorite pair of Wonder Woman socks when an inpatient devil took his laundry out of the machine for him, Engineering freshman Kevin Allister has taken to extreme measures to protect the rest of his Wonder Woman clothing merchandise.

“I was devastated,” Allister said, “I’ve had them ever since I was a child. They were given to me by Wonder Woman herself.”

Fueled by his sadness and rage, Allister has concocted a simple scheme to keep his laundry safe. Recently, Allister has been seen in the Hill laundry room rigging a grenade to the back of the dryer door.

“They will never touch my laundry again,” Allister muttered, as he slammed the dryer door shut and started the machine.

Responses from Allister’s hallmates remain neutral.

“You just gotta protect your stuff, you know,” said College freshman Marv Mechans.

Meanwhile, Allister is confident that his deterrence will be successful

“My clothes are something I hold dear to me, and I must protect it,” Allister stated. “Even if it means charges of manslaughter or arson.”