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Sophomore Develops Nicotine Addiction in Preparation for Semester Abroad in Europe


Photo by Dmitriy Fokeev / CC BY 2.0

Sophomore Nate Jacobs recently revealed he has developed a nicotine addiction in preparation for his semester abroad in Europe. When Jacobs got accepted to his program in the city of love — Paris, France —  he was excited to explore a new city but nervous about fitting in. Then one day on his way to class he passed the usual group of international students smoking cigarettes outside of Meyerson and knew what he had to do —  start smoking immediately.

Jacobs went to Wawa the next day to buy a pack of Newport's and that’s all she wrote.  It was love at first drag. Now, Jacobs smokes a pack of cigarettes everyday  — and he’s doing great. He looks really cool and has really been learning to love the simple pleasures of life, like waking up and smoking a crisp cigarette.

Jacobs is no longer worried about fitting in Europe now that he smokes cigarettes. He might be incompetent in French despite planning on studying abroad in Paris but it won’t matter as long as he’s got a cigarette in his hand. The French students will be flocking to him the second he lands just like the girls do at Penn when they catch him lighting up on campus.

When asked for comment Jacobs just started coughing — but he looked super hot while doing it! There is nothing as handsome as a man with a cigarette! He might be showing early signs of lung cancer but he’s sure to have a hell of a time abroad.