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Gay Rights! LGBT Center to Introduce Poppers on Tap


Photo by Danny Cooper / The Daily Pennsylvanian

In a sustainability win, the LGBT Center recently announced the arrival of poppers of tap. The party drug, popular amongst queers and avant-garde heterosexuals, will now be supplied on tap at the LGBT Center. Drop by with your reusable vial and fill up!

The announcement comes after months of pressure from numerous environmental groups on campus. Everyone knows one of the biggest sources of waste is poppers packaging. Go to any landfill and all you see are poppers bottles. With this historic installation, the days of poppers filled landfills will be over.

Students around campus rejoiced upon hearing the news and they can’t wait to feel the rush! College junior and hag Jaime Miller was especially ecstatic. “The environment is one the things I most care about in this world and it always broke my heart to have to throw away the 10 to 20 poppers bottles I would use every weekend,” said Miller. Now all Miller has to do is grab her reusable vial and head to the LGBT Center any time she needs a kick.

Miller excitedly declared, “I’m proud to attend a school that takes environmental issues so seriously. We may be deeply invested in the fossil fuel industry, but I sure sleep better at night knowing our landfills are poppers free!