Students Required to Purchase Access Code for Classroom Door: Lecture Seat Optional
Photo by Kevin Xu / The Daily Pennsylvanian
February 27, 2020 at 1:09 am
Students arrived to class on Monday morning shocked to find the door to their lecture locked, and a Pearson Education ticketing machine located next to it. An $80 ticket would allow access into the classroom, while a lecture seat could be purchased separately for another $120. The all-inclusive VIP package, including door access, a lecture seat, office hours and the ability to ask questions, could be purchased for $180. For another $20, you might even get a little bit of “extra credit.”
“Ha ha suckers! Welcome to the first lesson of ECON 001 ladies and gentlemen. Supply and demand. Now, let’s all take a second to laugh at those broke fools locked out,” the professor began, as he pointed at the mass of poor students pressed against the outside window. “Enjoy this moment folks. This is capitalism working at its best.”
At one point during the lecture, a student asking a question was abruptly interrupted by the professor. “Silence! Jacob, you are going to have to upgrade from your basic package if you want to speak in this class. Are you sitting in a seat you haven’t purchased too? People, there are rules in this classroom and Jacob has broken every one. Get out of my classroom. Sorry no refunds!” Jacob was promptly removed from the room by Penn security personnel.
When asked about his opinion on the new access codes, another student who had purchased the VIP pass insightfully noted, “I think it really teaches a good lesson to any student interested in studying economics. I can’t wait until I’m laughing at these College fools from Huntsman when I transfer next semester. I’m gonna have to skip dinner for a few weeks but the return on investment for this purchase is going to be huge."
UTB has been informed that the quoted student later dropped the class after failing the first midterm, and that he’s selling his access code and lecture seat at email@example.com.