OP-ED: Your Fraternity Would Have Been Lucky to Have Me

They say saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do. Well, I’m sure it was just as hard for you to stop sliding those 3x5 invitations under my door sometime after Tuesday night. And I’m just as sure the fact that my profile picture at the Venice canal has ceased to appear on your projector slide night after night has left a longing in the hearts of your members. As for me? I’m doing just fine – in fact, better than fine. With bid day now just a memory, I see that pledge class you took, man-boys in ill-fitting ties, and think just one thing; your fraternity would be lucky to have me.

It’s not that I didn’t place first in my interstate geographic trivia fair (I did). Or that I didn’t pull off the winning shot at stack cup the first night of closed rush (I also did). It’s that I realized I didn’t really need you to feel a sense of purpose this semester– while, trust me, I’m pretty sure you’ll come to realize that your fraternity could really use me.

While the date night photos come rolling in, I’m going to be working to increase a GPA that could have easily brought your 2.9 average up that extra point. While my first-year peers sit blindfolded in a Spruce basement, I’ll be reading about enhanced interrogation techniques for my political science major — enhanced interrogation techniques I’m sure would come in handy when dealing with next year’s class. 

At the end of the day, it’s the people that make up an organization. And, based on your decisions, I’m not one of those people. Am I bitter? No – just disappointed. But will I take this rejection and use it in my own life? Absolutely. I pity those who will inevitably report to me at a big three bank. You could have had me and you didn’t, and really, whose loss is that? 

But I mean if anyone drops and you need an extra guy I guess I could find the time in my schedule.