Meet the Self-Proclaimed Communist Working at McKinsey Next Year

Arthur Rogers isn't your typical Penn grad-turned management consultant. Unlike the greedy, capitalist, corporate shills commonly referred to as his "classmates," Rogers possesses a relatively contrarian view towards free markets.

"I just think that private enterprise is fundamentally corrupt," remarked Rogers, as he exited his first-class airplane seat returning from his interview which could have easily been conducted via Skype. "We should absolutely abolish all personal property .. but you know I'd still like to keep my Gucci loafers if possible — that's where my signing bonus went."

After choosing McKinsey over Bain in a brutal decision-making process, Rogers noted that he's excited to "witness the underbelly of the beast" and to "defeat the corporate monster from inside its own trenches." As my mentor and idol Karl Marx once said: "The proletarians have nothing to lose... except for a pretty hefty salary and bonus package."

We congratulate Rogers on his new position and hope that he can use that well-deserved six-figure salary to seize the means of production — even if it's the production of PowerPoint decks and spreadsheets.