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Oh Goodie! Professor Dunkin Is About to Talk About His Pastoral German Childhood Again


Photo from pixnio / CC0

Just great! Last Tuesday, Professor Dunkin once again interrupted physics lecture by trailing off into a story from his pastoral, carefree childhood in Germany.

“Speaking of work and energy, guess who put in a lot of work making homemade sauerkraut on the family farm?” Dunkin asked his class. “That’s right. This ol’ fella right here.”

Although some students find that his whimsical asides add a little bit of flavor to an otherwise soul-crushing subject, others worry that they get in the way of teaching.

“I love Professor Dunkin and all,” Margaret Ingle (C ‘23) said. “But how many times are we going to hear about his idle days spent skipping stones across Lake Müritz before he hands out the homework?”

In lecture, numerous students have reported learning more about Dunkin’s idyllic youth in the countryside than about the principles of modern physics.

“Newton? Who’s that?” Michael Law (C ‘22) asked, scratching his head. “Anyways, did you know that milk stays fresh longer if you add a pinch of salt to each batch?”

Despite his debilitating inability to make it through a sentence without spinning some yarn from the days of yore, Dunkin shows no mercy when it comes to examinations.

“If you guys thought the midterm was tough, try weeding the entire backyard in time for dinner,” Dunkin reminisced, staring off into the distance. “Now that’s what I call tough.”