Oops! Professor’s Freudian “Example” a Little Too Specific to Be “On the Spot”
March 23, 2020 at 3:00 am
Life gets awkward when you start talking about Freud. Psychology professor, Harold Sigmund, found this to be all too true this past week when what started as an innocent example quickly escalated to a deeply personal tangent about his not-so-platonic love for both Chris Evans and his father.
“Imagine you think Chris Evans is really attractive and you have a dream that he’s coming on to you. You’re really into it when all of a sudden you realize he is wearing your Dad’s deodorant.” Sigmund started. According to student Jason Molikiar ‘23, that’s when things started to get out of hand.
“Yes, it was Old Spice Wild Collection Invisible Solid Antiperspirant and Deodorant. Can’t you smell it?” asked the professor, rolling his eyes back in a sensual and uncomfortable way. “Then you notice he is wearing a grey cardigan. The same grey cardigan that your dad spilled Mrs. Mazeretti’s chili on back at the block party in 1986.” Sophomore Darnell Bordon ‘22 reports, “the level of detail was alarming and too specific to be an on the spot example.”
“But like I said,” Professor Sigmund continued, “you are really into him and you realize that it’s Chris Evans, but it’s really your Dad. You know when that happens? It’s like that.” The class stared at the professor, shocked and uncomfortable, and were relieved when Sigmund dismissed the class 10 minutes early. When asked after class last Wednesday, Professor Sigmund refused to comment on the incident.