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Penn to Introduce Troll Under 38th Street Bridge


Photo by Gage Skidmore / CC BY-SA 2.0

Penn has announced Danny Devito as a new non-resident Professor of “being a troll”. The decision comes after complaints from the student body over a lack of troll under the 38th street bridge. Professor Devito will begin this April and can be recognized by his troll outfit and devilishly good looks. Penn has asked him to act as if he were Frank Reynolds playing Danny Devito playing a troll. 

Professor Devito will live directly under the bridge but may come out at night and surprise students. 

“If Professor Devito approaches you on the bridge, please remember he is not a real troll. As such, Penn Security has been informed to not interfere with any of his actions,” President Amy Gutmann wrote in a public statement. She continued to say that “Professor Devito has been told that any troll-like activity has been permitted, including mugging students when they attempt to cross and breaking out in song.”

“I hope we get to see Mr. Devito punch the Fighting Quaker.” One student said. “Or maybe have him get in a fist-fight with Gritty. This is why I came to Philadelphia in the first place.”