The study survey created to code and quantify the good vibes variable among students showed a strong relationship between getting covid and feeling bad.

r/WallStreetBets' top post today was to short you.  They called you overvalued. 

Bessie came into the Vice Presidential Debate ready to support her main girl Kamala, but came out sexually confused. 

Polio victims have had a long history of pushing progressive policies. A polio victim pushed through the New Deal.  Who does Coronavirus have? Donald Trump? Chris Christie? Lindsay Graham?  

Don’t think of yourself as an incel watching Zoom lectures, think of yourself as a monk dedicating your life to the one true cause—  Runescape. 

When you cook your Chonky Seal, you’re going to want to put virgin olive oil in the pan and let it warm. Throw a few crushed cloves of garlic and let it cook until translucent.  

 “So please, for the safety of the school, wear a Drexel T-shirt when you go out, and don’t forget…..Go Dragons!"

“The transition to online classes has been really great.” Tommy said, “I never need to come up with an excuse not to pass the pen. All to myself, baby.” 

Beto beats Biden by over 12 points with voters who drink craft beer!

If they tell you to get naked on camera, tell them you live in a multigenerational home and that your grandma is in the room.

As the only brother with access to weights, Jacob was now a god among now-emaciated men. 

2019 is over. It is time to say goodbye to Hot Girl Summer and hello to Pasty Girl Spring.

These are AirPods pro. They have noise-canceling capabilities, so I can pleasure you without distraction and listen to my Gary V. podcast at the same time. 

Professor Devito will live directly under the bridge but may come out at night and surprise students. 

The decision comes in an attempt to curb the rampant complaints of second-hand smoke within the house.

Paramount has responded to the films flopping by announcing another redesign. This time, Sonic is going to be “sexier.”

While watching Parasite, I couldn’t help but wonder how much better the film could have been if all the actors were white, speaking English, and if it took place in rural Texas. 

The sensual, voiceless, man-sized penguin can actually teach us a lot about life, love, and most importantly, the bedroom.

Maybe it's the Philadelphia talking, but I, for one, say that Gritty should have punched that kid. 

Penn has given no formal comment on renting out college dorm rooms, however, Wharton Entrepreneurs is offering seed funds for anyone wishing to take advantage of this inefficiency in the free market.