Sick! Noodles Left in Microwave Last Night Probably Still Okay to Eat
Photo by BrokenSphere / CC BY-SA
April 9, 2020 at 12:30 pm
Around 2:00 a.m., after a long night of mixers, one bumbling Daniel Monroe (C '21) decided to heat himself up a juicy pack of shrimp ramen noodles. He ripped off the packaging on the styrofoam cup, read the instructions, immediately forgot them, and threw them away. After approximately preparing the noodles, Daniel placed them in the microwave. The rest is history.
And by the rest is history, we mean Daniel left the microwave door open, took a swig of Skyy from a bottle he hadn’t realized he was carrying, laughed, almost fell over, actually fell over, assumed the fetal position, fell asleep for three hours, woke back up, stared at the ceiling, noticed the microwave door, got up, closed the microwave door, tried to type “69420” onto the timer, realized the numbers didn’t fit, tried again anyway, typed “6969” instead, laughed, took another swig of Skyy which had somehow not spilled, and finally passed out on the couch.
But that’s not all. Eye-witnesses report that Daniel woke up at 3:00 p.m. today, promptly gathered his noodles from the microwave, and began eating. Daniel was willing to describe the scene to reporters. “I thought to myself, ‘they must be done by now,’ ya know? Why waste perfectly good shrimp noodles? The shrimp ones are my favorite.”
Irene Goldman, Daniel’s suitemate and certified biology major, was willing to answer questions as to whether or not Daniel’s overnight-noodles were safe to consume. Goldman stated, “Hello I am Irene Goldman and I have taken three (3) biology classes at an Ivy League University. Scientifically speaking, Daniel’s noodles are disgusting and Daniel is an alcoholic.” Upon further inspection, it was found that Daniel had indeed prepared his noodles not in water but in Skyy.
Daniel has informed UTB that his Pinterest will be releasing the recipe for overnight-shrimp-vodka-ramen sometime in the coming week. Whether that recipe will include blacking out on the couch is yet to be determined.