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Thrilling! You Have Under 60 Minutes to Complete, Check, Scan, Email, Upload, and Submit Midterm


Photo by Lucas Weiner / The Daily Pennsylvanian

“Mission: Impossible,” anyone? This afternoon, you learned that you will only have one measly hour to complete your upcoming midterm, double-check it, scan it, send it, and submit it successfully to Canvas.

As per your instructor’s announcement, the clock will begin ticking the moment you access the file online.

“This midterm usually takes two hours to complete, but since it’s open book, you should be able to finish in half the time,” your professor reasoned on Piazza. “Come on, it really can’t get any easier than this.”

The upcoming midterm will consist of long-form response questions, diagram drawing, and every other question type seemingly handpicked to make your life just a little more inconvenient.

“We considered multiple choice and other ways of testing the material in an online format, but everything just seemed so… unnatural and easy to use,” your professor continued. “It turns out that nothing beats good ol’ fashioned pen-on-paper test-taking, coupled with wasting twenty minutes trying to get your scanner app to work.”

Your peers have expressed concerns about the terms of the upcoming exam, surprisingly enough. In a follow-up post on Piazza however, your professor doubled down on their regulations.

“Look, we’re giving you ample time for you to stare blankly at the exam, panic, have a nervous breakdown, and upload your answers to Canvas,” your professor retorted. “We will not be extending the time limit, nor will we accept any late submissions.”

Good grief. Well, at least it’s fair to everybody, right?

“The exam will be open from 7:00 to 9:00 a.m. tomorrow, Eastern Standard Time,” your professor concluded. “Now, let’s get out there and do some linear algebra!”