Confused Man Mourns Loss of BLT on Supreme Court Steps
September 25, 2020 at 3:00 am
Upon hearing of the death of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, affectionately called "RBG," hundreds flocked to the supreme court steps to honor her memory. But one man, Barry B. Fuddled went to the supreme court steps to honor another fallen hero, or so he thought.
Having misheard the latest information, it seems that Mr. Fuddled believed that the BLT, a universal deli staple and his favorite sandwich, was being discontinued effective immediately. Armed with what he thought could be his last BLT from Arby's, he went to the supreme court in hopes of finding comfort with others grieving the loss.
"I didn't know if maybe they forgot the recipe or something," stated Fuddled, trying to explain why he thought his sandwich of choice would cease to be sold. "Imagine my surprise when everyone was making a fuss because some supreme court justice died!" he continued.
While initially sympathetic, RBG mourners expressed irritation at Barry's extremely audible sobs once they heard the words, "I'll never get to taste you again!" "It was horribly inappropriate and completely ruined the ceremony!" exclaimed one participant of RBG's vigil.
Fortunately, Mr. Fuddled's crying was not heard long as he was quickly apprehended by security officers who removed him from the scene. Once the officers understood Barry's confusion and his actually quite rational response, they let him go free and directed him to the nearest sandwich shop.
Barry Fuddled claims that he is actually grateful for the experience and named RBG as the individual who taught him about how to live life to the fullest. "I'll truly never take another BLT for granted," explained Mr. Fuddled, "I never know when the one I'm eating could be my last. RBG taught me to enjoy my BLTs making sure to savor every bite."