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Biden Tests Positive for Being a Lame Nerd


On October 2nd, 2020, presidential nominee Joe Biden was tested for coronavirus in response to President Trump's positive result. While the COVID-19 test typically determines whether someone is positive or negative for the virus, Biden received a not-so-shocking additional result, that he is in fact a lame ass bitch nerd loser. In response to his results, Biden tweeted:

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Biden revealed in a confidential interview with Under the Button that he only tested negative for coronavirus because he in fact has no friends and spends every night crying into his pillow, screaming “They all wanted Bernie” while blasting Liza Minnelli. 

Trump’s positive result on the other hand confirms the rumors that he is in fact a doping cool dude, spending his weekend at keggers where he snorts Ketamine while all the women take body shots off of him. 

Trump tweeted: 

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The two candidates decided to handle this matter like men by fighting in the nearest dark alley with broken bottles.