BREAKING: Friendly Reminder Is Lowkey Unfriendly :(
Photo by Oleg Magni / CC0 BY 2.0
October 12, 2020 at 4:27 am
Last week, members of the virtual Ware College House received an email from their RA, Anoi Ying, that has puzzled rhetoricians across the globe. We at Under the Button were able to obtain a transcript:
As per my last two emails, I would really prefer for you guys to turn your Zoom cameras on during our weekly Quizzo games. As you are no doubt aware, we are living in unprecedented times, and the only way we can truly get to know each other is by showing our faces. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you would like to make friends, right? Do let me know if I misunderstood your decision to not participate. Some school-spirit Zoom backgrounds have been reattached for your convenience, and I’d like to see them the next time we meet. Please advise your friends to do the same.
This is a COLLABORATIVE COMMUNITY. Just a friendly reminder :)
Jasmine Wu (W '24), one of the recipients, was befuddled by the message: “I didn’t think much of it at first,” she mused. “But then I realized that adding a smiley face doesn’t really make you friendly. It just makes you fake, and TBH, kind of unfriendly.” She shook her head. “It’s completely changed the way I see my roommate when she says, ‘Jasmine, just a friendly reminder to stop leaving your shit everywhere,’ or club presidents, when they say 'Jasmine, just a friendly reminder that you are very dumb and have no future in consulting or anything else remotely employable. Also— friendly reminder to re-apply next semester! :)'”
Professional linguists have aligned with Jasmine's interpretation of the email, deriving the following translation after meticulous analysis: “Bitch can you read?”
Fellow Ware residents seemed to agree that the email was, in fact, unfriendly, and RA Anoi has been uninvited from the weekly Quizzo.