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Hey, You Pathological Liar: Here Are Three (Fake) Fun Facts to Tell About Yourself During Icebreakers


Photo by Pxhere / CC0

As anyone who isn’t a computer science major knows, socializing is an essential part of Penn culture. And whether or not people will want to socialize with you depends on the first and most formidable test: your fun fact during icebreakers. Of course, you could try being yourself, but you and I both know that plan is destined for failure.

Quick! It’s almost your turn! The girl next to you tells everyone she’s “outdoorsy.” You call BS. Settle for these more realistic lies that will surely rock everyone’s socks:

  1. You were born and raised in West Philadelphia (now you can subtly establish yourself as a “local” to the other students). You played a lot of basketball growing up (which unfortunately doesn’t get much clout at Penn), but it did get you into some fights. Your mom thought you’d be better off spending time in Bel Air with your aunt and uncle. Now you sound like you have street cred and a more lavish lifestyle than everyone else!
  2. You once went on a cruise with your rich family that you hate, but something went wrong halfway through and you had to evacuate the ship. Not everyone made it. Your friend Jack froze to death. It made you realize that you should be living every day to the fullest. This shows the group that you have a mysterious, tragic backstory that probably makes you emotionally unavailable. It also shows that even though you definitely have money, you tell everyone you want to “eat the rich.” You’ll fit in perfectly at Penn.
  3. When you were a kid, your parents left you at home by yourself for Christmas, during which two robbers tried to break in. Fortunately for you, you were blessed with God-given mechanical engineering skills and the ability to defy all known laws of physics. With the grace of a thousand swans, you fought the robbers off with booby traps and the sheer power of your mind. This will definitely humble the M&T kids for once.

Your classmates will be stunned by your originality. Happy friend-making!