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Something Will Happen If I Keep Banging My Head On The Table


Photo by  Psy3330 W10 / CC BY-SA 3.0

I wake up in the morning, brush my teeth, and get ready for a full day of banging my head on the table. I’ve procrastinated a lot over the weekend, so I need to bang my head extra hard today.

I sit down at my desk and get straight to banging my head. First up is physics. I put the physics textbook and homework in front of me, and down my head goes repeatedly. It feels like it never ends, as numbers, free-body diagrams, and units splatter everywhere. By the end of the homework, there’s only a little bit of bloodied torque vectors.

Next is computer science. Over the years, my laptop has really taken a beating. Keys and equal signs and pointers and semicolons are massacred, they lay in pools of maroon on the tabletop. I run the tests, and the red tests are quenched by the blood of the semicolons, and they turn green.

Then it's lunch time. I have a hot pocket. That’s pretty good.

Annnnnd now back to more of the banging head on table. It’s time for history. I’ve been told to bang my head on some articles but I don’t feel like it so I move on

Yuck ethics. Time to bang head on ethics. At least this one I have a flat screen surface to bang my head on. My monitor is cracked like bullet holes, but it's served me a long time. I bang my head at twice two speed, it's much more efficient that way. And then after that I bang my head 1000 times for 1000 words. I’m not sure if it's readable, but you can’t expect much from a forehead bang. At this point, I can feel the gray matter oozing out of my ears, warm and comforting. Time for bed and sleep to prepare for another day of head bang tomorrow.  

They say in every block of granite there’s a sculpture, I can really feel the table bring the sculpture in me out.