"Take Me Back bb" Student on Leave of Absence Begs to Return in Spring Semester

Back in August, taking a gap semester seemed like a good idea to would-be College Sophomore Sophie Smith, but now that all her friends are back in school and she's living under her parents' roof, she has decided that the spring semester can't come soon enough. However, one major barrier stands between Sophie and Zoom University, her official Leave of Absence termination, which must be approved by the College for her to take classes come spring.

This Leave of Absence termination form asks questions like, "when are you planning to graduate?" and "why did you take a leave of absence?" Sophie answered these questions with flair and is sure that she will be allowed back next semester. 

"I'm sorry for taking some time off. I really needed some time to work on myself. But now that I've had time to reflect, I really want you back," Smith wrote on her request to be allowed to return to Penn. "We make each other better," she continued, "I let you think that you are influencing my impressionable young mind and you raise my self-esteem by having a low acceptance rate."

"We both benefit too. I give you tuition money and you give me a piece of paper telling employers to hire me. We're the perfect team because we need each other. Like peanut butter and jelly or newtons and figs, you can't have one without the other. I guess what I'm trying to say here is take me back bb! I made a mistake and I'm sorry. Love me?" concluded Smith's letter to the College office.

At press time. Smith was still awaiting approval from the University. We wish her the best of luck and eagerly await her vigorous re-acceptance in the coming weeks. Welcome back to Penn, Sophie!