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Friend Who Does Cocaine Worried About Health Effects of Wearing Mask


Photo by Pixabay | CC0

Poor Liam has to live his life in fear of the dangers of wearing a mask every day of 2020. “Did you know that it makes it hard to breathe and lowers your oxygen intake, you sheeple?!” Liam yells at his coke dealer that tells him to put the mask on before entering his house. Liam thinks it's bullshit that healthy people need to make up and struggle to breathe considering that he exercises, eats right, and “always takes care of himself.” Some of his anger might stem from the fact that he can’t snort coke with the mask on, but assures us that cocaine is way safer than wearing a mask anyway.  

Liam has already suffered the effects of the damn mask and blames his tyrant governor for crippling his young body. When he wakes up his body trembles, he suffers almost constant nose bleeds and his heart is always racing. He longs for the days when the mask wasn’t suffocating his rights and he could just wake and bake with his daily dose of coke. His friends and family all tell him that he probably won’t live long enough to see a future without masks if he “continues on this path” but they’re just dumb liberal snowflakes anyway. 

Lucky for Liam, Corona doesn’t phase him because he lost his sense of smell long ago.