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COVID-19 Is “Soooo Excited To Meet So Many New Freshmen in the Quad!”


Photo by Carson Kahoe / The Daily Pennsylvanian

The time has finally come! The Quad has opened its glorious gates to welcome hundreds of new faces, including Jeremy from New Jersey, Lydia from England, and COVID-19 from all over the world! This past weekend, UTB sat down with COVID-19 to talk about their experiences so far living on campus with the first years. 

“I mean, I can hardly contain myself. I’ve been literally counting down the days until I can live in the Quad. I was mainly kickin’ it off-campus this semester, but it’s just not the same. I didn’t get the full college experience of spreading into dorms and causing mass quarantines, you know?” 

COVID-19 is reportedly already super popular amongst the first-year crowd. They've been trying to meet as many new faces as possible, which isn’t as easy as you’d think. 

“I saw a ton of these people in Mexico around March, I think? And there’s a group of girls somewhere from New York, and we met up over the summer at their 'socially distanced' outdoor picnic," COVID-19 said with a wink. 

COVID-19 made an appearance in a few Riepe halls last week, but has been spending the bulk of their time with the first floor of Franklin in Fisher-Hassenfeld. 

“There’s this one hall, and we’ve all gotten so close. I mean that literally — we were all within like, three feet of each other. It was amazing. They were hosting a dorm party, so obviously I had to go. I think I got to interact with everyone there. To put it simply, I was hit. I don’t want to brag or anything, but literally none of them are immune to my charm — or my disease!”