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Report: CIS Major in Your Japanese Class Definitely Has No Ulterior Motives Whatsoever


Photo (with edits) by Jozsef Hocza / CC0, Tatiana T / CC BY 2.0, and chripell / CC BY-SA 2.0

Nothing wrong here! The CIS major in your Japanese class definitely does not have any secret reasons as to why he would sign up for this class to begin with.

“Hey guys… my name’s Kyle. I’m taking a lot of CIS classes this semester… and Japanese…” he had said on the first day, his shoulder partially obscuring the Evangelion poster which hung behind him. “Why am I taking the course? Oh, uh, you know… I’m really like, interested in the culture and stuff…”

Kyle, who typically takes on a workload of six-and-a-half STEM classes, has made the bold choice this semester to enroll in an introductory course in the Japanese department. And as far as we can tell, there is no evidence that would suggest that he did so for any reason except pure and genuine interest for the island country and its people.

“So, uhh… when do we get to talk about post-WWII Japan?” Kyle had asked the professor during Monday’s lecture. “What about… modern Japan?”

Yup, Kyle is clearly just a normal guy who signed up for a totally random elective that has absolutely nothing to do with some strange, abstruse hobby of his. More power to you, man!

“I was just wondering… uh… how do you say ‘will you be my girlfriend’ in Japanese?” Kyle asked, quickly shifting his laptop’s camera so as to move his quarter-scale Exclusive Sakura Edition Hatsune Miku figurine out of the frame. “Oh, this isn’t a language class? Yeah… yeah… I understand…”