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People Cheer as Cocky February Birthdays Are Finally Taken Down by Corona


Picture by Flickr | CC BY-NC 2.0

February birthdays faked empathy last year as March and April birthdays were ruined by the pandemic, but let’s face it, they didn’t really care. They were honestly relieved that they didn’t need to do anything for their other friend’s birthdays besides shoot them a text. Campus was empty and now they didn’t need to share their alcohol with the pandemic birthday boy. But how did that work out for them in the long run huh?

They thought that they were simply built different and that their stupid little February birthdays were safe. But now who has the last damn word? People cheer as February birthdays are humbled just like they deserve. They got to have a party in 2020? Well comeuppance is finally upon us motherfuckers. Go cry about it. 

Even still, it feels as though February birthdays still have better than they deserve. Campus is finally open just in time for Aquarius season and I am pissed. I just hope the next major pandemic starts in January.