Lonely? Buy Another Plant You Depressed Son of a Bitch

 Many students have felt alone this pandemic, but some students have found a cure for the isolated feelings in their heart. Instead of having real human interactions, many students have bought plants. “Succulents don’t break your heart like that bitch Alice does,” says beginner plant enthusiast Tyler. Some have commented that plants are even better than digital interactions, such as Facetime or Zoom, because “My monstera can’t leave me like everyone else.” 

Some say that plants grow better if you actually talk to them. Instead of telling your boyfriend how your day was tell some leaves, you single fuck.

It may appear that after a year of limited social interaction, people have begun to lose their minds. Are you going through something and now want to feel like you’re on the road to profound happiness? Plants are temporary sources of joy for depressed people without real friends. Self care!