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Student Who Hasn’t Eaten in 30 Minutes Hands Back Jolly Rancher Blue Spit Test


Photo by Governor Tom Wolf / CC BY 2.0

Jacob promises he has not had anything to eat or drink in the 30 minutes before his COVID-19 spit test. Nope, not even one thing. Anyone who would say otherwise is a lying little weasel and is falsely accusing him of an offense he did not commit. Jacob would never do something that could dilute the test and make it faulty. How his spit test came back the exact same shade as a blue raspberry Jolly Rancher is beyond him. Perhaps someone put dye in it when he wasn’t looking? He promises he was framed! Jacob doesn’t even eat Jolly Ranchers.

 “I mean, don’t look in the cabinet, but if you do, the big bag of them in the kitchen belongs to my roommate.”

The person he handed his test to was fairly grossed out and got a little snippy with him. They refused to take the test because it was “blue.” Aren't all colors relative anyway? What truly defines something as blue or not? 

Jacob doesn’t even know what the big deal is anyway. He doesn’t have COVID-19, so why does it matter? He didn’t do anything the past week besides go to Miami for spring break, so he’s pretty sure he is fine.