Don't Have Time to Walk-in for Vaccination? Try Running In

With Phase 2 of vaccination starting at the Philadelphia Convention Center, many Penn students have reported difficulty procuring appointments, which has led to students standing in the long walk-in lines.

“The lines are so long!” said Engineering freshman Felix Pilgrim. “I don’t have time to stand in these lines.”

Recently, a group of Penn students have discovered that running into the walk-in lines saves a great chunk of time. This is because when you run, your body moves faster compared to when you walk. 

“After I heard about this new run-in method, I immediately tried it,” said Hoenikker. “I sprinted into the convention center and plowed through the military guy that was managing the line. I sprinted down the hallway with no regard for any of the other patients. I hurdled the fences like I was a fucking Olympic athlete. I stumbled into the vaccine table, grabbed a shot, and stabbed myself while screaming to assert my dominance. After, I threw the needle across the room like a javelin, and I started spring again, past the waiting area and straight through the exit. It was like a decathlon, and the whole process lasted only about 30 seconds.”

It is expected that more Penn students will use the run-in option as students are pressed for time with approaching final exams.