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BREAKING: Humanities Professor Wants to Talk About Modernity


Photo by spurekar / CC BY 2.0

Good morning, everyone. I hope everyone got a chance to look at the readings, because today we’ll be tackling a really tricky topic. It’s one you’ve definitely never discussed in a humanities class before: modernity.

Ah, modernity. Just, ahh… gosh, where to start? Okay, how about this: what is modernity? Heh, what even is it? What do you guys think — is it an era, a concept, an ethos? Do you… feel modern? 

I don’t know, you guys tell me! I won’t be able to rub your stupidity in your faces if none of you throw yourselves at my mercy! I know at least one of you has an idea of what modernity is.

Wonderful, Janice. I love how you spoke about the relationship between the subjective and the objective — that made no fucking sense at all. Anyone else? 

What’s that, Keith? Modernity is having a car? Wow… there’s a lot of good stuff to unpack there. 

Okay, that’s enough. Thanks for all of your input, guys.

And guess what? You’re all right.

You see, nobody really knows what modernity is. Us humanities professors just ask this ridiculous question in the hopes that one of you dumbasses will actually figure it out, and I can finally get my Nobel Prize in Anthropology.