Student Skips Summer Bod, Goes Straight to Winter Bod
Photo by MarkScottAustinTX / CC BY-SA 2.0
August 5, 2021 at 1:35 pm
This just in, Wharton senior Julia Huges has made the conscious decision to skip the summer body and go straight to the winter bod.
"It's not like I was planning on going to the beach or anything because of COVID, but I'm also not one to sit around. I get restless and always need to be actively doing something, so I figured I get a head start on sculpting my post-Thanksgiving figure," explained Huges when asked about her motivations.
As most over-achiever Penn students would, Huges decided to make a plan to get her perfect winter bod by beginning her training early. "To start, I haven't done any exercise since I got home from school, like literally none." So instead of her usual summer bod routine, which involved daily runs, yoga, planks, and crunches, Hughes has been sitting at home, getting progressively more nearsighted by staring at her phone or watching TV.
Another part of Huges' regiment is avoiding a summer tan. "You can't have a winter body and a summer tan. If you do that, it just looks like you failed your summer bod routine and had to settle for going to the beach without your perfectly sculpted muscles and toned stomach." Huges has been wearing long sleeves, pants, long socks, and a ski mask whenever she must go outside to avoid the sun's deadly rays. Fortunately, Huges doesn't have to go out much since, after a few misunderstandings at the bank and at various department stores, Huges now conducts most of her business online.
Huges admits she hasn't had the best summer and fears she is vitamin D deficient, but she remains optimistic about the future. "I'm going a little crazy from spending so much time in my basement-turned-gothic cave, but with all my preparation and dedication, I'm sure this winter is going to be great."