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1920 Commons to be Renamed 1620 Lords


Welcome all ye peasants to the University of Pennsylvania, whether thou art a young freshman or wretched wench. 

Upon thy return to campus, thou may hast noticed some changes, such as professors on horseback, turkey legs and mead in Houston Hall, and a jousting ring where ye ole Franklin Field used to be.

While conducting refinancing amidst the plague, the royal court administrators hath decided to sell the majority of the institution to Charles I, King of England and, now, His Lordship of the University of Pennsylvania. 

As the first act, His Lordship hath renamed 1920 Commons to 1620 Lords and announced plans to remodel this public tavern into his new lavish estate.

Charles I, King of England and His Lordship of the University of Pennsylvania, hath many goals for his reign, such as to improve the status of the University against competing kingdoms, expel the monastic order of Temple University, hold public trials of sorority witches at the Button, put alligators in the Schuylkill to secure the perimeter of the village, mandate biweekly bleedings and symptom checks, discourage literacy amongst students, lead missions through the Newman Center, bestow upon the Office of Student Conduct the right to hold beheadings imminently, and monopolize the Renaissance Fair circuit on the East Coast.