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Oh Gosh: Frat Boy Unsure Whether it’s Demeaning to say ‘Woman’


Photo (with edits) from pxhere / CC0

The waters of our current political climate are murky, and to be honest, I’m confused! I feel as though lots of the things that we thought we knew are getting all tangled up in themselves and mixed up in others! It feels difficult to tell left from right, girl from boy, girl from other girl, dead from alive, joke from serious, and so on. Mostly, I’m just not quite sure which words will present me as an article-reading, good-eye-contact type, and which will expose my worrisome disconnect from literate society! 

Even the things I used to know for sure are now seeming a little dubious. I’d like to be clear about which topics are safe and which are treacherous, so here’s a list of things I know for sure

- I am professional

- I don’t need to floss

-  it’s safe to remain in the incognito window

- Spikeball still rocks 

- I don’t need to understand Christopher Nolan movies to think they’re awesome 

- just because I can smell myself doesn’t mean others can smell me too

- “scalding regards” is a good way to end an email 

- it’s okay to take a moment for myself once in a while :) 

Now here are some topics for me to avoid from now on: 

- large groups of people

- individual people

- women over 30

- girls under 18

- the euro

- the economy

- money

- personal finance 

- politics 

- people in the government

- populations  

- the deliciously wealthy

- scum who lack cash 

- long-term shifts in global temperatures and related systems

- systems in general

- body parts 

- noises 

- fitted sheets 

- where the socks go

- when enough is enough 

- how many gummy vitamins is too many 

- is “Brita” the filter or the pitcher? 

- is "woman" an offensive term?

If you could spare a moment and explain everything ever to me, that’d be awesome.