Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Get Over Yourself: Student Really Using Umbrella in Scanty Drizzle


Photo by Lars Plougmann / CC BY-SA 2.0

What, do you think you’re better than us? Christian Baker (C ‘23) was spotted sauntering along Locust Walk during a meager drizzle, umbrella fully deployed.

Eyewitnesses say that there was no way, given the minimal amount of moisture in the atmosphere, that he actually needed to parade his umbrella around for the world to see.

“Like, come on. This is barely morning dew we’re dealing with here,” an anonymous passer-by commented. “Christ, this annoys me to no end.”

“It’s not like he’s carrying a papier-mâché statuette or anything. I could at least forgive him for that,” another pedestrian explained. “Right now, it just looks like he’s desperately trying to keep his hair-do safe from the absolutely negligible amount of condensation in the air. Hate to break it to you buddy, but it doesn’t even look that cool to begin with.”

UTB attempted to secure an interview with Baker, but he declined and immediately started to speed walk away, muttering something about having to take a “midterm.” Great, on top of being a pretentious, parasol-wielding snob, it turns out he’s also an insufferable nerd. Get over yourself, dude.