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I’m Just Trying to Figure Out What Sport You Play, Not Look at Your Boobs

Faith Applegate

We have all been there. You see an athlete approaching, and you try and use every context clue to figure out what sport she plays. Tall or short? Ponytailed or French braided? On foot or scooter? There is a myriad of sports she could play, as she gets closer you squint at her shirt. It comes into focus. Penn Athletics… basketball! 

Then it hits you. It looks like you have been staring at her boobs. 

You are not alone. Those Penn Athletics t-shirts are designed to make us non-athletes feel like perverts. And it is not just restricted to gals. The logo sits on the nipples for everyone. And the Penn Athletics t’s fit like damn compression shirts. I promise I am not eying up your boobs or pecs. I am just playing the "guess what sport the athlete plays" game. Please stop giving me the evil eye. 

So here is my proposition. Can we move the logo to upper chest like Best Buy shirts? Better yet, we could just do a liiiittle logo on the back, Lululemon style? That would also solve my deep set jealously of all athletes.