“He Is JP Morgan” and 7 Other Lies to Tell About What Your Dad Does
We’ve all been there. You’re talking to the kid whose net worth rivals a member of the Bahraini royal family (in certain cases, they may be a member of said family — we’ll cover that next). Yet you were raised in a poor, scanty 2,500 square foot suburban home in California.
The conversation turns to what your father does for a living. Shit. How can you best hide your family’s crippling mediocrity? You can’t let them find out he’s an HR director.
Take a deep breath. You’ll be fine.
Try one of these seven easy lies about your dad's profession to leave this exchange with your honor unscathed.
(1) Does bank stuff
(2) Anesthesio-biologist(sp?)
(3) Operating Thetan VIII in the Church of Scientology
(4) U.S. Secretary of Agriculture, Tom Vilsack
(5) Indie pop sensation
(7) Wanted fine art thief
And look at that — with one of these simple fibs you made a new friend, scaled Penn’s social ladder, and are now one degree of separation away from the heir to the Funyuns fortune. Not bad, right?
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