You Might Remember Us: We Went to Frat Thing, Who Cares?
November 3, 2022 at 2:30 pm
Hey, it’s Jett and Maura. We know what you’re thinking: Jett and who??? Well, Maura is the girl from the UTB mega-viral Instagram takeover last week. She is pretty cool, she went to [REDACTED] date night with me (Jett), and she is in Wharton although you never would have guessed it but that’s how things work at the University of Pennsylvania so maybe you would have guessed it.
Today, we would like to talk to you about a little something called pageviews. We are in the business of acquiring them. You are in the business of giving them to us. Thanks. Although the title of this article reads, “you might remember us...," that was simply a ploy to extract more pageviews from you idiots. We know you remember us. We are the ones who put our groupmates to shame with an unprecedented number of Instagram story views last Wednesday evening.
Pageviews aside, we had a great time at the fraternity, and at Center City Philadelphia’s prestigious “Raven Lounge”. There was literally a bunch of Edgar Allen Poe memorabilia on the walls. It was pretty funny. Like poems and pictures of him. The whole place had kind of an Edward ScissorHands vibe which was a nice change of pace from NOTO.
Unfortunately, despite having our UTB press passes, we were barred from entry to the allegedly much cooler upstairs region of the lounge (up for debate). It was pretty fun to attempt to rizz the very large upstairs gatekeeper guy into letting us up there, though. So it was kind of a win regardless. Super chill guy. The three of us are grabbing coffee at Pret sometime soon.
What else happened? We don’t know. Normal date night stuff, we guess. We sipped drinks on the ground floor and looked at each other cautiously while the ceiling above us nearly caved in. I (Jett) saw this guy from math recitation and we bonded over how dope our TA is. And all through the night, an appropriate and tasteful mix of Uzi, Kanye, and Future dominated the aux. Accordingly, Jett attempted to do this dance called “blicking” that his friends (several) from Temple taught him. Lowkey he killed it.