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Jett Flaxman


Articles

Damn: Insufferable Rich Kid Actually Pretty Drippy

Despite his decidedly insufferable characteristics, I must concede that this kid fucking dripsssss.


They’ve Gone Too Far: The Penntrification of Northeast Philadelphia

And hey, it’s not like Philly is going to do anything about it. One resident close to the demolished shelter said, “This place kinda sucks” when I asked her how she felt about Penn’s most recent expansion.


Dad Checks Watch, Longs for WWII Podcast He Saved for Ride Home From Family Weekend

Adam was enduring his sixth hour at Penn and ninth hour of “family time” that day.


Stupid Girl at Berghain Doesn’t Understand Going to Penn Kind of a Big Deal Where I’m From

I return to my friends and relay a successful tale of rizz. They are impressed. I have done it again, they say.


You Might Remember Us: We Went to Frat Thing, Who Cares?

We are the ones who put our groupmates to shame with an unprecedented number of Instagram story views last Wednesday evening.


Proposed Biopond Expansion Delayed Due to Lack of Portable, Ready-Made Biopond Cubes At Home Depot

Just one problem Lizzy – where are we gonna get all that lame green and brown shit that needs to go in the biopond?


Dude Who Is Already A Fifth-Year Senior Can't Wait For Homecoming Next Year

"Don't worry brother, you're definitely gonna catch me on campus next year,"


Emotional Scene: On-Campus Fraternity Brothers Disheartened as Their Party Overlooked by Fun Police

What started as a laid-back night of vibes with the brothers evolved into... a chill kickback with the brothers and a few of their friends.


Clueless Mom Fails to Comprehend That Glow Party Takes Precedent Over Home-Cooked Meal

After all, her son was both an Economics major and a short king. Legend.


There Will Be Blood: My Hallmate Fucked My Mom

When I met him during move-in my heart skipped a beat. So did my mom's. 


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