Back to the Golden Days: I Announce Post BA Plans To Be an RA in the Quad

To my devoted LinkedIn connections, fans, and elementary school teachers,

I am here to announce some very exciting news. The fall of a Penn student’s senior year is rife with The Fault in Our Stars vibes. Not getting your coveted analyst position is akin to being in love with Augustus Waters. But receiving a confetti-filled letter from Barclays is like putting the thing that kills you between your lips and not letting it kill you. If you’re not well read in YA, I mean to say that emotions run high around the job hunting season, much like they do among teens with cancer (read the book). 

My emotions certainly ran high before landing a position at my dream job. Everyday, I walked around the residence halls looking for dog walking positions, babysitting, gigs, and piano teacher stints. But I never passed the background check. And they say the Blackstone mind games are hard! 

But this past Thursday, I received an email while I was reliving the golden bathroom trip days in Butcher. I had been offered a position as an RA in Ware! I couldn’t believe it! I almost finished my Butcher nostalgia on the floor but kept from jumping up and down. 

Freshmen of the future, I’m coming for you. My dorm, I mean apartment, will be the pinnacle of living on one’s own and I can’t wait to regale my residents with very educational socials. At the moment, I’m floating plans for MATH 1410 Mock Exams! If you see me hitting the weights at Pottruck next year, feel free to say hi. If you come down to Philly from your 6 figure starting salary job in New York, maybe buy me a sandwich? I’ll have a twin XL that we can share :)