Marry Me? I Love the Way You Say Words You Don’t Know How To Pronounce At Three Times Normal Speed

Everyone has something that gets them going. Some self-infatuated stars have themselves as their wallpapers. Others Depop underwear. I know a fair share of accepting, worldly individuals who love to hear their partner speak their native tongue (for the most part, it’s a language from a distant land across the pond). I, on the other hand, ADORE, J’ADORE, anyone. I mean it, anyone. Who. Slurs. A. Word. When. They. Don’t. Know. How. To. Pronounce. It.

You like hearing your name in bed? I like hearing my last name. “OR-L.” 

Yes, oral sounds good to me!

You had a meet-cute in class? I couldn’t get over the TA panicking at all the N names. “NW-N.”

My only love sprung from my only hate, 

Too early seen unknown, and known too late! 

Prodigious birth of love is it to me 

That I must love a loathed enemy. 

Oh you mean, “PR-DUS.” Yes, Romeo, yes. 

Baby, I am SO down for dinner at “A-B-S-N-A.”

Truthfully, a fast-talker is a sweet-talker to me. Don’t mince words, butcher them. The next time someone you receive some adulation. Return it with your own “OB-C-Q-U-S FLATRY.”