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"I Took a Gap Year" and Other Sayings To Help You Get With Upperclassmen on Tinder

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You’re an older freshman and everything seems perfect: you just matched with a girl on Tinder, you both have your ages listed at 19 or 20, everything is in order. Then she hits you with a dreaded question.

“What year are you?”

As an underclassmen, regardless of how old you are, you’re automatically a pariah on the dating scene – a tinder second-class citizen. “That’s not fair,” you say. Well, life’s not fair. But lucky for you we have some tips. If your Tinder match seems concerned you're an underclassmen, say this:

I Took A Gap Year: This is a classic – regardless of whether it’s true or not. Taking a gap year gives you gallons of maturity, putting you in the same dating league as upperclassmen. Tell your match that you worked various odd jobs during your gap year such as landscaping or carpentry to stress you’re resourceful and good with your hands. Or, if your match is in SDT, say you went to Israel. 

In My Country We Do Years Differently: Tell your match you’re foreign. In your country, you do grades differently and when you came to the U.S. for college they made you start as a freshman. If you were in your home country, you’d be a senior right now. Also, your chances of success skyrocket if you choose a stereotypically sexy country like France or Italy (any nation that participated in the scramble for Africa should suffice). 

I Was In The Army: You’re a freshman because you spent the first two years out of high school in the United States Army. If she’s even remotely Republican this will be an instant plus. If she’s progressive, tell her you enlisted for the free college and quickly became disillusioned with the U.S. military industrial complex. Now you smoke weed and have a small following on twitter where you make fun of right-leaning veterans. If your match is in SDT, say you served in the IDF.

These sayings should get you past your match’s unwillingness to get with an underclassman. Stay tuned for our next article – “I actually did four years of community college before this” and other sayings to help you get with professors on Tinder.