What Has Your Penn Education Taught You?
(05/12/11 12:30am)
Apparently not how to spell "Wednesday." Party on, Class of 2011 Board!
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Apparently not how to spell "Wednesday." Party on, Class of 2011 Board!
The playful characterization of Whartonites as money-hungry by the common people of the College of Arts and Sciences is such a mainstay at Penn that it's basically a cliché. What we didn't know though, is that Engineers hate Wharton's wannabe Masters of the Universe even more than the College hoi polloi – and actually with good reason.
When Yo-Reka opened in 1920 Commons, it sounded like a great idea – yogurt is so cool! Except then it wasn't even frozen yogurt, it was vats of "Greek" yogurt that you had to glop into a container and affix with toppings. Thanks, but the Dannon was fine. Obviously, the Greek yogurt thing wasn't going so hot, and transforming into a "Meditteranean salad bar" after 10:30 a.m. This also would sound like a great idea, or so I thought! Unfortunately though, the whole nasty containers of lukewarm stuff sitting out all day and breeding salmonella thing wasn't scrapped. We're sure the food tastes fine, maybe.
The times, they are a changin'. Soon enough, it'll be May, my fellow seniors and I will don cap and gown and...well, before we get there...I'm just here to announce some exciting changes on this here blog and bring you on a quick, brief, non-sappy nostalgic adventure.
A curious red van picked up students on 40th and Locust. Where it was sending them, we do not know.
[Disclaimer: This article was part of our "Joke Day" series... if you couldn't tell by the usage of Comic Sans.] In a last ditch effort to finish his thesis, senior Sociology major Dirk Evans checked American Sociology: Perspectives, Problems, Method out of the Van Pelt library. Evans said it was his first time borrowing a book from the library, "though obviously I've done work with my boys in Rosengarten and sometimes if I need to cram and I can score an Adderall I'll crank out a couple pages in the fourth floor stacks." Though Evans said he was hesitant to check out a physical book, he said he was surprised by the efficiency of the process. "I guess it was a good system, that you can just find any book you want and borrow it to write your paper," Evans commented. "The only thing that sucks," he lamented. "Is that you can't copy and paste the quotes you want to use which is what I usually do." Evans said it is unlikely that he will check out a book again, as he plans to complete his thesis this weekend.
[Disclaimer: This article was part of our "Joke Day" series... if you couldn't tell by the usage of Comic Sans.] Female toilet-goers said they were "grossed out" at a fraternity gathering this Saturday night, when they were shocked and surprised by the lack of a clean roll of toilet paper in the bathroom. A College sophomore explained that she had gone into the bathroom with a friend who happened to have a pack of tissues, so they "just used that as toilet paper." A Wharton junior, however, was less fortunate when she defied social norms and used the toilet alone. "Do guys not wipe?" she asked quizzically.
Seniors, graduation is five months away - which means it's time to start thinking about....WHAT THE HELL. Seniors received an enthusiastic "Save The Date" yesterday email which included a link to the "Commencement 2011 Fall Brochure." Said "Fall Brochure" is a four page schedule of commencement activities with pictures of diverse smiling students. Of course, this begs many questions: will there be a Winter and Spring Brochure as well?
Not that he's not still the Messiah, of course. Today, our gift to you is a 1978 interview with Tuesday night denizen of Smokey Joe's, Kenn Kweder, whose fans at the time called him the Messiah (according to the lady in the funny hat)!
Baby carrots...now affectionately known by your neighborhood Fresh Grocer as "mini carettes." According to the highly trafficked Wikipedia page for Baby Carrots, the people originally responsible for developing the baby carrot in the 1940s considered calling the product "carettes." But they didn't. "Mini carettes" seems a little redundant, non?
"Have a beauuuuuutiful day," Rami will tell you when you purchase an item from his food truck on 40th and Locust. Rami's offers a bevy of Middle Eastern specialties, but my particular lunch of choice is a chicken wrap with tahini sauce. Unlike chicken from other carts around town, Rami's chicken is boiled rather than grilled, so it's oil-free and ends up feeling pretty healthy. Definitely recommended. The sandwich usually comes with lettuce and tomato, but I find these additions kind of make it taste like a Caesar Salad wrap, which is fine if you like Caesar Salad wraps. And now that Coup de Taco is gone, Rami's is pretty much the only cart option on 40th and Locust.
Coup de Taco will happily not serve you as you study for finals. After a whirlwind semester of latenights outside Smoke's, traveling around town and that weird Entourage thing, Coup de Taco is taking a vacation. A long one. The above tweet, posted yesterday, speaks for itself. See ya in twenty-eleven?
One of the loveliest things about walking up Locust on a late Fall afternoon is that the sunsets are often quite beautiful. Since the western end of the city past campus is devoid of high rise buildings, it's just an incredibly pleasant moment when you spot a breathtaking glimpse of the red sky, particularly as the leaves have fallen off the trees – and you just have a lot of sky to look at.
Be Gone, Goldman? – A columnist for The Cornell Daily Sun wants to ban Goldman Sachs from On Campus Recruiting, arguing that "come summer, these undergrads have transformed into full-fledged Goldmanites — squeezing every drip of profit out of the rag that is America with conscious abandon." Well then. [From our peers at The Cornell Daily Sun, via Daily Intel]
Professional male models aren't the only ones with sexy photos in today's issue of The DP. Check out some scantily clad gentlemen in The DP's gallery of last night's Big Man on Campus event hosted by A Chi O. Congrats to senior and junior winners Jordan Cogan and Neil Dubey – we're sure the BMOC title will look great on your resume.
Finally, The DP has figured out what its readers want: pictures of hot guys! Today's edition of the paper features freshman Nick Hissom, a real life teen model!
It's really funny catching people look like idiots on campus. It's also funny catching people sleeping. Marry the two and you've hit the jackpot.
They can't get enough of Penn, it seems! The Westboro Baptists, the protest group that fervently pickets against homosexuality and Jewish organizations (again, a shocker they love it so much around these parts), are coming to campus on Saturday, according to their website, GodHatesFags.com. What's irking them this time? They're protesting Annenberg's production of The Laramie Project, the critically acclaimed and well-known play that tells the story of the hate-crime murder of Matthew Shepard, a gay student. From November 11 - 13, the theater is putting on productions of The Laramie Project and an update on the play called The Laramie Project: 10 Years Later.
Is the party over? Maybe, but not yet. The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board has asked stores to "voluntarily" stop selling Four Loko, the popular sugary alcoholic energy crap that fucks you up big time. It's unclear whether this will actually lead to the cease of Loko sales in good old PA, but knowing the state's stringent liquor laws, it could definitely mean business.
Tomorrow, Penn faces off against its biggest historical rival, Princeton. In honor of tradition and school spirit and good looks, we've scoured the University Archives for the most handsome, dashing Penn Football stars of yore. Thanks to our seminar in Advanced Googling 346, we've dug up what we could about these former cuties.