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Happy post-Thanksgiving Penn folk! We hope you've given all of the thanks and that you aren't drowning in the work you were inevitably assigned. But let's not think about that just yet. Instead, go frolic in your freedom. Time flies when you're not at Penn.
As the temperatures fluctuate between last night’s
arctic tundra and today/tomorrow’s “We Can’t Believe It’s Not Spring”
unseasonable warmness, we urge you to abandon your carrels in VP and step out
into the light for this week’s gaggle of events.
Coming to you LIVE from New York City, it’s the “Prisoner of Wharton” we love to hate, Donald J. Trump.
Under The Button is Penn, unbuttoned. And WE WANT TO HIRE YOU.
Looks like everyone’s favorite place to get drunk food is soon to be everyone’s favorite place to get drunk. You heard it here: FroGro is finalllllyyyy selling beer again.
For those of you who spent NSO living under a rock reading a sad handwritten book, you might have gone to a party hosted by “Phi” and just thought it was your normal, sweaty, run-of-the-mill fraternity. But what you DON’T know, unless you’re like soo in the know, is that this new brotherhood of men is none other than the old Pi Kapp (Pi Kappa Phi), aka the latest in a long line of Panhellenic recognized Greek organizations to join Penn’s off-campus community.
In keeping with the too long-standing tradition of lists and rankings, the Princeton Review released their, "Top 10 Party Schools in America" list. And in a bit of a not-at-all ironic twist, Penn was left off the list ENTIRELY!
As the summer days drift away and we near our return to Penn, it's only appropriate that the Times chime in and add to their cyberbullying SAGA (jk we had this one coming). A mere one scroll down their post, "Dorms You'll Never See on the Campus Tour," reveals this unflattering photo of Hill College House, "gap-toothed brickwork," and all.
For those whose day-to-day interests and concerns exist outside
the NYU dorms and the realm of Netflix, you probably didn't see this reference
to Penn on Orange Is The New Black. If you did...it's cool – we did too. But
consider getting out more. Maybe a walk to somewhere other than B Bar (oof).
Anyway, go Penn. We'd say this is making it.
FINALLY some temperatures we can be proud of see ourselves wearing Fling tanks in. SO much is happening this week - from food alllll over Philly, to FLOOR PASSES#($*#@$, to lovingly throwing color at one another as Penn celebrates Holi. If you want free food, sunshine, and no finals, click on to see what's goin' on.
At one point or another on Wednesday, you thought a number of
things. You thought Emma Watson was enrolling at Penn; you thought Penn banned
hard alcohol, and that your Netflix was a goner. You were a victim of the system DP’s joke issue. It's okay, you weren't alone.
Us Penn folk pride ourselves on being très chic, and wow, we’ve
been waiting for this moment. FINALLY our style choices are being recognized by the stars! What’s
next? Our name in lights? Kristen Wiig donning a Fling tank? Blue Ivy hitting the bookstore to flaunt some Penn kids apparel? ARIANA GRANDE COMING TO PENN?!
In a twist of events, these brethren decided to spend their
Wednesday fighting a losing battle by protesting Wharton’s oppression of the
College (and everyone). While we applaud their efforts, we can’t help but laugh…a lot. It’s a
known fact that this issue is going nowhere. It’s a tale as old as time! But if
you boys want to shake things up, we’d love to see a sit-in or a food fight. Thanks
on behalf of the 81%. See you at the VP printers.
The wait is over! SPEC-TRUM has finally announced the artists for this year’s Spring Concert. On March 28, World Café Live will
welcome Rae Sremmurd, OG Maco, and Chynna Rogers to the stage.
Chips and mints and seashell drones. Just kidding, but hey look! Someone flew a DRONE over the Schuylkill!
Accompanied by no music and traveling at the speed of a brisk power walk, this
drone caught some trippy images of
the frozen river, serving as a reminder of how cold it is and how much we want
to leave Penn for break!!! Okay, perhaps a bit of an extrapolation...but like not
really. Just enjoy this minute and a half of silent bliss, and know that soon
you’ll only have to vent about exams SOME of the time.
Now this is what we like to see: Penn students braving the elements! Featured here is some fine cross-campus skiing, which some are calling the only socially acceptable real
way to navigate campus during these trying temperatures (looking at you, DRL
Lyft-ers). Just goes to show that Penn kids understand resourceful transportation, and that we’ll really stop at nothing to get to Van Pelt.
When it comes to giving believable excuses, claiming to be stuck in an elevator ranks lower than telling your hookup that “your friend is sick and you have to go.” But believe it or not, these poor souls lived everyone’s nightmare of being stuck in a Rodin elevator tonight, and man do we feel for them. We of course hope for their safety and release, but we wonder, what happened in there? Did they resort to playing Desert Island? Was it a Survivor kind of situation? Were the occupants as calm as the other people in this photo who seem unalarmed by their peers’ claustrophobic predicament? Did the pictured firemen pry them out with their medieval-esque weaponry? Did anyone emerge a hero? We’ll never really know. All we can do is hope that no one has a 12 am deadline, and that tomorrow isn’t so bad.
40% Off Jake's Sandwich Board Today - Another failed attempt at a snow day, but Jake's doesn't see why we still shouldn't celebrate the powdery white bliss that makes getting to class harder than actual class. Turns out EVERY TIME it snows, Jake's gives 10% for every inch we get. We'll take it.
Yes it’s true, this year’s commencement speaker will be the
one and only Samantha Power aka the United States Ambassador to the U.N. aka QUITE the gal. A
quick Google search will show the absurd amount of accolades she has, and reveal that she is the ORIGINAL strong, independent woman/the
overachiever we all aspire to be. Not only is she an advocate for just about
everyone’s rights (for the best), but also she went to Yale and Harvard and
she chose to speak at PENN (that’s equal to a win in football, right?). In all seriousness, while inevitably people will
cry because John Legend isn’t coming back, this is awesome news. And just LOOK at her pout! Approved.
For the last five years, UTB has been led by dedicated, hilarious, and post-worthy human beings, and Ben Lerner is no
exception. Besides his genuine love of the blog and its content, he loved being
an integral part of our team, and he will be missed more than he can imagine. Thank
you, Ben, for being a supportive, thoughtful leader, for cracking us up every
time you speak, and for giving us at UTB a place here at Penn that we love. You’re
fabulous, you’re flawless, and we know you’ll always be there for us…in your
trailer…with a lawyer present. Absolutely.