Oh No! Penn Loses Entire Endowment Betting on High-Stakes UNO
The Penn administration issued a statement this past Wednesday regarding the state of our cherished endowment. Accompanied by a “¯\_(ツ)_/¯” emoticon and the writing “oopsy-daisy” was the announcement that Penn has declared bankruptcy. An unnamed member of the administration was “itchin’ to make a buck” and bet 20 billion dollars on a game of UNO. After an unfortunate turn of events, and a well-timed wildcard play on the part of the opponent, The University of Pennsylvania is now left with 72 cents in the bank.