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Dine Out For Life--Check out this list to see which of your favorite off-campus restaurants are donating 33% of tonight's proceeds to AIDS service organizations. Pod, Distrito and Harvest are participating close to home along with many downtown hotspots. At this point in the school year, we all know even Hill brunch is no longer appealing, so get out and eat for a cause.
As Frogro runs out of Matzah and Sweetgreen engages in religious profiling to hand some out, we thought it might be interesting to explore what might have happened if the Passover story occurred a little closer to Penn. Lets say, if John Legend (Moses) couldn't convince Amy-G (Pharoh) that he should be freed from being the only alumni worthy of the public view, then this...
Dean Furda, we feel your pain. Who wouldn't think it would be incredibly easy to find housing for over 1,000 pimply pre-frosh the week before fling?
After voting for Penn Madness and the Penn madness of voting have got you all riled up, we have a new fantastic opportunity for you voice your extremely strong opinions about the things you really care about: food, alcohol, outlets and waxing.
Stand-Up, Singing, and Social Media-- Your Retta Recap, brought to you by Under the Button.
So now that all of your March Madness brackets have gone to shit, time for the real fun to begin. Our Elite Eight is ready to compete for your votes, going head to head in some of the most intense matches yet. Tears were shed over the loss of FOMO (they just didn't want to miss out) and we hear engineers were up at 8:30 trying to sway the snow vote. But now, that's all in the past. Let Round Two begin!
Breathe easy aspiring fashion designers, contrary to the website details, the Hey Day T-Shirt Contest deadline has not yet passed. You have exactly 30 1/2 hours (5pm on March 19th) to craft the design that will clobber the competition with its hat and cane based perfection.
At this time in the semester, along with the buildup of midterms and the looming promise of Spring Break, comes the onslaught of fleeting and cleverly named MGMT 230 start-ups. The Stress Stop, following the trend of 230's past, attempts to delight the student body with the thrilling combination of convenience, risque puns, and the solving of problems we never knew we had with tailored versions of already existing companies.
Welcome back to a week filled with slightly warmer temperatures. Can someone say 50 degrees on Friday?!* Here's a roundup of this week's events to get you out of your dorms and into the quasi sunshine.
Oh Fireplace in Starbucks Under Commons, the eternal burning of your dancing flames continually reignites my passionate love for your existence. Why do you tempt me with the promise of warmth, then shun me behind your cold glass case and provide no cackling or heat? Why do you draw me in with the hope of comfort, then surround yourself with chairs that torment my back and torture my interior design sensibilities?
In classic overachieving fashion, a team lead by two Penn paleontologists discovered not only a new dinosaur skeleton, but an entirely new dinosaur species. Concerned about their new baby feeling left out when trying to buy souvenir key-chains, the team named him Yongjinglong datangi (although we hear he goes by "Jim"). The recently unearthed lizard is a 50 to 60 foot long herbivore rumored to have subsisted entirely on kale and the occasional edamame bean. A proud member of Titanosaurs clan, a group of vegan all-stars whose name is not pronounced like any part of female anatomy, the fully grown "Jim" might weigh in at over 100,000 pounds. Check out the DP for all the details.
Those who think Career Services only exists to help funnel us through OCR and into consulting think again! According to this recent tweet, they have the hookup for the summer's most coveted job placement, short term firework salesman. No networking required, just the ability to channel your inner Katy Perry and forget that the kid buying the firecracker may return missing a limb. @PennCareerJobs Thanks for finding something for us to do with our liberal arts majors #OCRebel
Some people missed friends, fewer people missed classes, and at least one student missed Shakespeare in a way that makes us uncomfortable. One college coed just couldn't resist the sultry stare of everyone's favorite bard and locked lips, and face in general, quite a few times with this picture in Fisher-Bennett's main entrance. Props to the mystery Shakespeare smoocher who put even Juliet to shame and solidified Bill's place as English Lit's sex-idol.
Shocking college students across the country, Bloomberg.com reports that men from fraternities, specifically men from Penn's fraternities, more specifically men from Penn's Jewish fraternities, even more specifically men from APES, use their frat connections to help score the OCR jackpot of a Wall Street job. According to the article, some recruiters strive to create just adorable "little fraternities on Wall Street," evoking promises of occasionally forced handle passes, beer pong, and maybe, just maybe, cheap vodka disguised in expensive bottles. We hope you succeed Sigma Chi.
Junior Sweater Pickup--Head to College Hall Room 200 from 5:30-7:30 to ignore the music, food, and photobooth, pick up your sweater (or two if you're that kind of kid) and head back into your study holes.
Every once in a while there comes along something that allows us to believe that our classes are actually relevant (sorry I'm not pre-med Dad). Cue Jason Merrin, a 2013 grad who turned an award winning screenplay from class into an almost movie we actually want to see.
In conjunction with One Day, the aptly named Hillel event that brought us this website you should not open in class with your volume on (sorry Professor Apicella), Matisyahu is bringing his reggae singing, hipster Jew self to The Blockley on December 4th. Click the above link for tickets and backstage passes to smoke sing with the man who even semi-beardless can make all the ladies swoon (here's a before pic). We recommend you get yourself into whatever state he appears to be in before watching this slightly disturbing promo-video. Is he really into light, or just subtly calling us all losers?
In a bizarre act of scheduling contortion, the Penn powers that be have decided to forgo the constraints of normal weekly progression. Monday will be Monday, Tuesday will by Thursday, and Wednesday will be Friday.
50% Off Kiwi Today--Bring your student card to everyone's favorite closest yogurt store to get half off on whatever concoction you can create. True froyo lovers like their yogurt even better when its 37 degrees.
Thanks to one urinatior bold enough to send us a tweet, UTB finally has confirmation that the jokes about people peeing on Ben Franklin's inviting lap are based in reality. According to the above police citation, emptying your bladder on our founding father can run you 50 bucks, so be ready to pay up for crossing this one off your senior bucket list.