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Alexander Liberman was a fascinating sculptor and one of the most-creative forces of the 20th century. "Covenant" cost over 100,000 USD to construct. In case you forgot, it also looks like a tampon. It's snowing too, btw. Penn students just get it.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines Chick (n.) as a young chicken; sometimes, the young of any bird. The OED also defines Filet (n.) as a kind of net or lace having a square mesh. Aka Beta is serving its rushes innocent baby birds it caught outside. Stop Beta before it's too late.
Hoodie Allen, notable white rapper and not-30-best Penn alumni has a lot of followers on Twitter (even though we've been supporting him since Bagels and Beats). 571,000 to be exact, 95% of them consisting of hormonal teenage girls who tweet back frantically at anything he posts. With a Wharton degree and time spent working at Google, Hoodie is any Jewish grandma's dream. And, when he's not hanging out with notable ginger singer, Ed Sheeran, he even has time to give back to Penn students. So dreamy!
Let's be honest, magical realism is the second best literary genre behind I SPY books. As notable marealies (a cool shortened nickname we invented), we were super siked to learn that Penn oncologist Vikram Paralkar is spending his time not researching and treating patients with rare blood cancers, but rather inventing weird, scary diseases that probably came straight out of his nightmares.
Emailing is hard – just ask our grandma. You never know when you are actually emailing your mom, or when you end up sending your condensed Christmas list (who condenses an Xmas list?) to your Professor.
Ivy Day Stones are like literally the SABSiest things on campus. Hailing all the way back to 1873, these stones are meant to constitute "a continuing and ever-growing exhibition of one history of the university." Apparently Penn's history is pretty boring since most of the stones rival the lack of creativity exemplified by most Penn Students. Since all Ivy Stones aren't created equal, we decided to give them the superlatives they deserve.
Being the President of Presidents isn't some lazy-ass job, so Amy has been dropping initiatives left and right. Whether it has been co-hosting the dopest halloween party on campus (Madeon who?) or being the hottest 65 year old on this planet, A-Gut has been on her grind. Coinciding with Green Week, Penn has launched Climate Action Plan 2.0, a "roadmap for environmental improvement and sustainability on campus to 2019 and beyond."
While us peasants are spending today capturing our #PennDayinLife (which isn't grammatically correct), aka crying as we eat Wawa in the back our Stat lecture, Madame President is killing it as usual. Last year, our beautiful blonde bombshell was elected Vice-Chair of the Association of American Universities (the AAU for the uneducated) and we correctly predicted her future promotion. That's right, beginning today, A-Gut will be serving as the chair of the board of directors for the AAU!
While us peasants are spending today capturing our #PennDayinLife (which isn't grammatically correct), aka crying as we eat Wawa in the back our Stat lecture, Madame President is killing it as usual. Last year, our beautiful blonde bombshell was elected Vice-Chair of the Association of American Universities (the AAU for the uneducated) and we correctly predicted her future promotion. That's right, beginning today, A-Gut will be serving as the chair of the board of directors for the AAU!
Classes For Next Semester Posted On Penn InTouch -- Just failed your midterm and need to procrastinate? Spend fall break picking classes that your mom will eventually tell you not to take. Now's the time to pick up that minor you sort of are interested in. The possibilities are endless, until you end up getting only 4 recitations and Psych001 at 9 am.
Did you notice how cold it was walking back from VP last night? That probably means fall is coming, and with it comes various sport games (or whatever they are called) thatyou pretend to care about. To get you in the toast-throwing mood, we interviewed the opener for Shwayze, Penn Athletics.
Did you notice how cold it was walking back from VP last night? That probably means fall is coming, and with it comes various sport games (or whatever they are called) thatyou pretend to care about. To get you in the toast-throwing mood, we interviewed the opener for Shwayze, Penn Athletics.
Did you notice how cold it was walking back from VP last night? That probably means fall is coming, and with it comes various sport games (or whatever they are called) thatyou pretend to care about. To get you in the toast-throwing mood, we interviewed the opener for Shwayze, Penn Athletics.
Did you avoid Locust this week because of scary, annoying freshmen? Probably a good move, but like, yo we got you covered. Flyerer Of The Week goes to these dudes from the Muslim Student Association. We tried not to say anything culturally insensitive (and ultimately failed).
1. Having to get your sexual fix in a Van Pelt carrel
NSO is here and that means free stuff, like lots of it. Free food, free drinks, and free other bad things are all available. BUT let's be honest, food is the most important. While it may seem like your body is hurtling towards a freshman 50, do not worry. Commons will leave you dreaming of these frantic days full of free food. Luckily for you, we ranked the best to worst free meals so you’ll know what to enjoy and what to avoid.
All summer long, A-Gut has been dropping some serious ca$h. While not all of the upgrades have been necessary, we think we can get behind the most recent investment: contactless Penn cards!
At Penn, we are used to being ranked number one and occasionally other numbers. That's why we shed a tear when we heard that Pennsylvania residents ranked us the second most respected university in the state, along with Carnegie Mellon! C'mon, we were featured in both Jeopardy and the Times' crossword recently! Doesn't that mean something?
Have you ever looked at butterflies and thought: holy sh*t, one day the human race will be destroyed by over-consumption? Do you enjoy really, really overbearing sideburns? Do you know what the word zoology means? If you answered "yes" to any of the above, you'd probably enjoy the work of Penn alum Paul R. Ehrlich.
Let's be real, walking up stairs is for plebs. But, even worse than using the stairs is riding on semi-old escalators. Luckily for all us, after this summer we will never have to go through that embarrassing experience again. The Penn Bookstore will be upgrading our escalators, saving us .64 seconds whenever we need to get a new PennCard!