"Yeah, I'm supposed to log 35 hours a week, but 6.75 felt like it was more than enough."
"It’d be awful if I had to find validation in something other than some arbitrary test score from a soulless, money-grubbing corporation.”
I think God gave us toes not because we need them, but because they’re nice to look at.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve this,” lamented Patterson, "I ghosted those people for a reason, Facebook."
Kendra reposted the videos to her own story and proudly declared that she was “so done” with the meat and dairy industries.
You have enough problems with your own uterus, so why should you care about the uterus of that girl from ninth grade bio?
Ooh, do you think they’ll put in another Starbucks where this book place is? I could honestly really use some extra spots to procrastinate and buy coffee before class.
Professor Shannon is happy to report that she currently enjoys an overall rating of 1.2 on Penn Course Review, and “is optimistic that in the coming semesters [she]’ll be able to bring her average up to the 1.25 range.”
The flayed corpse of God is clearly controversial. For one, does God even have a corpse?
He’s a busy, busy boy with many important things to do, and he can’t be bothered to take care of himself or perform basic life functions.
So please, start paying attention to me, and fix that exam grade I emailed you about.
You and Jessica have been going strong for nine months now, but these past couple of weeks you’ve noticed that the two of you have grown more and more distant. You have no idea why, but there’s this guy Brad in her OIDD class that she’s always getting food with now.