Everywhere from VP to the Highrise Sky Lounges, Orgo students can be found playing with their rod and balls, trying new positions and configurations.
Never (never) have I been able to indulge in the sweet, elusive nectar that is the Mango Dragon Fruit Refresher.
These sleek Wunder Under High-Rise Tight Snow-Washed Ribbed leggings are something else. You could say that they’re the height of athleisure.
The sweet, idyllic taste of my childhood has now been tainted with the harsh, nauseating taste of hand sanitizer.
To Brightson, the minutes stretched on like eternities. After ten of them, she started getting sober. After 20, she was painfully sober. After 30, she wondered if she had made a mistake. At the 45 minute mark, Brightson fully gave in, returned home, and collapsed into her bed.
Because, as you know, people who shop at Micro Mart are anything but micro, in any sense of the word.
Whenever I ask for a nice chai, I know that I can count on the barista to scoff at my embarrassingly basic taste in caffeinated beverages.
"And yeah, so I’ve been trapped working in this Subway ever since."
Although we tried gently bombarding students with mildly-worded emails, we found that this approach was entirely ineffective.
Freshmen are so annoying. They’re so fucking entitled and think that they can get into any frat they want if they swarm it long enough.
"Yeah, I'm supposed to log 35 hours a week, but 6.75 felt like it was more than enough."
"It’d be awful if I had to find validation in something other than some arbitrary test score from a soulless, money-grubbing corporation.”
I think God gave us toes not because we need them, but because they’re nice to look at.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve this,” lamented Patterson, "I ghosted those people for a reason, Facebook."
Kendra reposted the videos to her own story and proudly declared that she was “so done” with the meat and dairy industries.
You have enough problems with your own uterus, so why should you care about the uterus of that girl from ninth grade bio?
Ooh, do you think they’ll put in another Starbucks where this book place is? I could honestly really use some extra spots to procrastinate and buy coffee before class.
Professor Shannon is happy to report that she currently enjoys an overall rating of 1.2 on Penn Course Review, and “is optimistic that in the coming semesters [she]’ll be able to bring her average up to the 1.25 range.”
The flayed corpse of God is clearly controversial. For one, does God even have a corpse?
He’s a busy, busy boy with many important things to do, and he can’t be bothered to take care of himself or perform basic life functions.